Home from the Hospital

After a 24 hour hospital stay at Brigham and Women's in Boston, I was able to bring Mama Marian home last night. The seizure evaluation and EEG showed that there were not any seizures, but the "background brain waves show findings that were concerning for possible risk of seizures". Although this remains confusing, the doctors have explained that Mom appears to be having simple partial seizures (aka "focal" seizures) that originate in the part of the brain where the tumor resides. These seizures do not cause her to lose consciousness and, oftentimes, she is even unaware that she is having them. However, her leg, foot, arm, hand, etc... on the right side often begin to tremble and her emotional state changes afterward. This is probably the most difficult of all, because it is unpredictable and leaves us feeling disconnected and more unsure than ever.

Mama Marian was discharged with a new medication called Lamictal, which is both a seizure medication and mood stabilizer. Typically it is added to a patient's regular seizure meds to prevent this type of partial seizure that she has been experiencing. We picked it up on our way home around 11pm last night and so we are not quite sure how effective it may be yet.

Mama Marian and I had a great trip home from Boston last night. We stopped by Pat and Steve's to pick up Indiana, where he was frolicking in dog heaven (their backyard, big dog-approved house complete with cousin dog) and then continued on our way to Connecticut. Mom wanted to stop at the Picadilly Pub in Sturbridge on the way back so we had dinner there and then stopped by the nearby Roy Rogers to access their vending machines. It has become tradition to stop and buy Jody some 25-cent plastic monkeys from the machines there. We have yet to collect all ten.

Mom is sleeping right now as Indy brings her his toys one by one in hopes that she will wake up and play with him. We noticed some small seizure activity in her right hand this morning but otherwise things have been okay.

On a very sad note I learned yesterday that Tracy Sigman, a family friend, died Thursday afternoon after a two year battle with pancreatic cancer. Her daughter, Beth and I have been friends since we were little and she has been a huge support for me along the way... even up through Thursday morning as she checked in with me to see how Mama Marian was doing. Beth and family, you are in our thoughts today. I wish I had something better to say, something that would make this more "okay" for you. I know that it must at least be a relief to not have to see her in pain, uncomfortable and, most of all, just not herself. That, perhaps is the most disconcerting of all... losing someone before you have lost them, knowing that you will have to lose them all over again... waiting, grief, waiting, bits of sunshine, fear, grief, waiting, loss... As Beth said to me a few months ago, I will take any good days with my mom I can get. And, in between, you just do what you can do.